Thank You ladies!

I really want to thank everyone for there paryers and thoughts during this really difficult time that my family is going through. It does mean alot to me to have such caring friends around me. Thank you again I do appreciate as many prayers and thoughts as you have.

Could I start this year over?

Yesterday may quite frankly be the second worst day of my life. First being the day my father died. Yesterday We (my brother and I) were told that my mother has breast cancer in both breasts. Wow that was the first time saying that out loud. Im still a little stunned and shocked but I needed to get it out of my system. Were not sure what is going to happen and what stage and all that, its still new and we havent heard from her doctors yet.
She had had a lump under her arm since around september and kept it quiet cause she did not want to upset or disturb my wedding. Then it was the holidays and didnt want to ruin them (christmas is her favorite) Then came the first of the year and we had to deal with my brothers issues. So finally she faced it and we took her for a mamogram and a sonogram yesterday afternoon. It seemed to take forever we were there for over 3 and a half hours. After they tortured her with the mamogram. They found that she had a massive lump in one breast and it had spread to the other. The radioligist was super concerned about it and wanted to get her in ASAP for Biopsy. So now is a waiting game to see what game plan we are up against.
I think that was the most difficult ride home from anywhere. All my mother could do is sob and ask why her, how is she going to pay the rent, how is she going to work, They are going to kick her out if she cant pay the bills, how she doesnt want to leave us and she will never see grandchildren. It was SO sad cause she doesnt deserve this. She has had nothing but sorrow and hard times since my father past away 10 years ago. She has had to work 2 jobs just to get by with rent and bills. She is 66 years old and should not have to be going through this at this time in her life. I feel so hopeless not knowing what to say or what to do for her. Her best friend died of breast cancer at the age of 55 and she saw what pain and torture she went through and she is afraid that will happen to her. Im just at a loss right now and hope things wil get better and I learn how to handle this.

New years resolution

So now that a new year is upon us and all the christmas clutter is finally away its time to focus on New Years resolutions. Ive done the weight thing last year so I refuse to do that this year. My focus this year as our first married year together is get my act together. My resolution is to get rid of my debt so we can hopefully TTC next year. Its absolutely killing me that I have to wait. I have wanted to be a mommy from when I was a little girl. I know that I cant at this time cause I wouldnt be able to afford being off the couple of months of recoup. I am lucky that I have a job that can incorperate my baby into the mix but its that initial couple months off the recoup So my mission is to work all I can this year and get rid of alot of my debt so we can live off the one income for the couple months. It just seems so far away to wait. I have waited for 12 years now for marriage and now the dreaded clock is in my head 24/7 and I believe it begining to drive me bonkers, I sometimes feel like im loosing my mind cause I know its there and I cant do to much to fix it right now. Plus all of my kids that I watch ask me "when am I gonna get a baby, now that your married" They dont understnad but I am constantly reminded about one. I am also surrounded by all these wonderful pregnant ladies and it makes me even more BOTB and kinda mad at myself that I have put myself in this position and now I have to wait even more. So heres hoping that this years New years resolution will be one that I actually succeed in getting rid of debt and haopefull TTC beforfe im 35.... Ok im done with my venting and whining
Anywho on a lighter note. Santa got me Wii for christmas and I just got Wii Fit to go with it and absolutely love it!! I am adicted to the hula hoop game and the super hoola hoop. That gets your heart rate up seriously. Got those extra holiday pounds im trying to hula hoop off. Im a little sore today from bowling like a maniac last night and my hips are feeling nice from the hoola hooping. I know it sounds odd but its a kick ass game!!!
Well time to go back to my world and work. Thanks for listening...